That's right. Four wonderful, glorious years with jtigerclaw
It's been an adventure. One I'm beyond happy of having.
So, what have I learned these past four years? How have I grown as a person, with the most wonderful boyfriend I could ever have dreamed for? Well......
Four years ago, I was still hurting from the past. I had no voice, I could barely stand up for myself. I didn't know how to express myself, and I sure as hell didn't think I was attractive in any way shape or form.
I was stagnant in my life. I was with a man that, while he cared for me, we had simply grown apart. I do not know if it was more him, or more me. But regardless, I felt lonely in our relationship. However, I wasn't looking either. After all, who would want me?
I met Jt on my forum Furrie Haven. Way back when it was new. [6 years ago I believe.] He was so shy, I sent him a private message, and then we just took off from there. The first time I had ever seen a picture of him, I freaked out. Here is this fucking HAWT guy! Like "OMG Movie Star Sex Model I wanna Jump your bones Hawt" guy! I was too frightened to send him a picture of me. I'm old, frumpy, mostly toothless and fat. >,<
But somehow, I did. And soon after that it was daily phonecalls, Video chats. During this time, I was also in a online relationship with someone else. This person had done so much for me, helped me grow, helped me see things within myself, and just...was, and still is a wonderful person. So, yeah I had this guilt thing going on here. I was having feelings for 2 people.
The other person knew of course about the feelings growing, and I think he may have been the strong one between the two. After all, he also had a lot going on in his life. A brand new start for him. Going places and doing things. All of which I cannot express just how proud I am of him then and now.
The decision was made and I won't lie, it broke my heart. And I was angry at first. But, it was wise. Very wise if not very hard decision to make. I don't know if this is something he'd want to hear, but he helped me so much, that it allowed me to begin to heal. To move on in my life. To take chances. To him, I'll always be grateful, and he'll Always have a special place in my heart.
Things were very hectic in my life and I had to make a choice. I moved to Buffalo to stay with a friend, and then a few months later, a choice was made. With
help I made the biggest leap of my life. I moved to South Carolina. And since then, it has been a hell of a wonderful ride!
Jt has taught me to open up, that it's safe to talk, to express myself. He's shown me that it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, that HE finds me beautiful. So what if society thinks I'm ugly as sin. Perhaps I am, but it doesn't matter. He loves me for me. For every bit of me. Not Despite this that or the other thing.
For a while, I had problems with everyone wanting to get into Jt's pants. Or so it seemed. Some of it yeah, some of it perhaps perceived that way but not true. I think I've gotten a little better with that.
The thing I need to work on now, is not to be afraid to meet people connected to Jt. I'm still afraid to because I am afraid of them judging him badly for being with me. I'm still old, I'm still frumpy, I'm still mostly toothless, and I'm still fat. People place a lot on looks. And it's hard to let it go on my end. But, I'm trying.
Point is, this is a man who can look past what society dictates and follows his heart. And it's one of the many reasons I love him. He's given me a Life! He's shown me things, brought me to places, experienced things with me that I never dreamed I would see and/or do. And while I am 13 years older than him, it doesn't matter. I have the energy to keep up with him [er save for basketball ^^] and age is nothing more than a number. Not dictated by anything.
I know some people do not understand our relationship, and some even disrespect it. I don't care. We're not sheep. We're kitties! And kitties follow their Own paths.
Jt, I love you. I thank you for all you've done for me, for being here through the good and the bad. For helping me grow as a person, for helping me heal more. Because of you, I am a much better person. [though...I'll still snark <,< >,>] Thank you for the last four years together. Lets get going on the next Forty years! ^___^ or more!
Oh, one more thing, to those that think Jt shouldn't be with me because of looks or sexuality or any other reason? You all can suck it!
^___^ Love is love. And that's all there is to it!